When one uses a search engine online using my name, and my trade name, The Austin Wine Guy, one finds scurrilous, defamatory and simply out right lies on the Internet results.
As law enforcement seems unable to assist me, and the person behind this campaign to defame me and interfere with my business and profession is what they call "judgment proof" meaning she has no money, I must place this blog here.
The woman behind all of this goes by many names: Oma Hamou, Oma McConnell, Alexandra McConnell, Alexandra Hamou, Oma Demian, Alexandra Murphy, are the usual ones, but there are others.
This woman, Oma Hamou, Oma McConnell, Alexandra McConnell, Alexandra Hamou, Oma Demian, Alexandra Murphy and her other aliases have a twenty year track record of FELONY CONVICTIONS, multiple arrests, failure to abide by the requirements of her probation for her felony convictions which lead to more arrests, many many civil judgments against her for hundreds of thousands of dollars, a history of writing bad checks, and currently she was arrested late in 2008 in San Bernardino California on a Felony Charge of Forgery of a Financial Instrument (she seems to have forged a large check) and is currently out of custody on bail and faces the Preliminary Hearing phase of her Criminal Trial proceedings in December, 2009.
Someone else has recently posted a precis of the criminal and debt history of this woman. You can go here to read the specific details for yourself:
http://www.omahamoureality.blogspot.com
She is nearly psychotic in this compulsion because I stumbled onto the actual facts of her past, and present, which do not coincide with the personae she wants to project to others.
This woman, Oma Hamou, Oma McConnell, Alexandra McConnell, Alexandra Hamou, Oma Demian, Alexandra Murphy et al, has for YEARS now, threatened me with civil and criminal actions. For years now, NOTHING has happened except more ongoing threats online.
This woman, Oma Hamou, Oma McConnell, Alexandra McConnell, Alexandra Hamou, Oma Demian, Alexandra Murphy has demonstrated she has no credibility. You can read below in previous posts where she has outright lied, most notably when she filed a report about her business with Dunn and Bradstreet that was investigated by them and shown to be completely fraudulent.
UPDATE August 3, 2009:
Oma Hamou aka Alexandra McConnell aka Alexandra Murphy, using the alias "Justin Edwards" recently posted a letter she purported to be written by author Penny Wilson. It is undated and shows no provenance, merely text. The context dates it to the time I still owned my wine shop, placing it circa 2002-3. I will not repeat the contents here as they are defamatory per se and scurrilous rumor about both me and Bob Atchison. I asked Penny Wilson about the letter and here is the respose:
Rob --
I didn't write this one. It seems to me that she's cobbled it together using some Jim Hercules stuff that I did write -- but I know nothing about this tax thing or a woman in Florida.
I enjoy a good relationship with Bob and Rob and appreciate their friendship; I dissociate myself from the sentiments of the past, and affirm that any communications written years ago do not reflect the current situation. I am surprised to hear that my private emails of years ago are being reproduced on a public website as though they are applicable today. Greg King, Penny Wilson's co-author had only this to say about the letter: "is this Oma chick just insane or what? God...
As you can see, this woman and/or her cronies now LIE, falsify documents and use years old private letters to attempt to defame and disparage me, and Bob Atchison
Many people whom have come into contact with her call her a con artist and scam artist. She hangs out with convicted felons, even inviting these career criminals to live in her house with her.
You can verify all the arrests, judgments etc for yourself with simple online searches.
If you have a judgment against Oma Hamou, Alexandra McConnell or her alias names and you want to collect, or serve her with a Debtor Exam, OR if you want to SERVE her with a suit, she is represented by a lawyer, Brian Watson of Victorville California. Service on him is valid as if you served her herself, as he represents her. Google his address and serve her there...
You are free to email me with your questions, and if you yourself have been a VICTIM of this woman Oma Hamou, Oma McConnell, Alexandra McConnell, Alexandra Hamou, Oma Demian, Alexandra Murphy, I encourage you to contact me.
294 comments:
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Dears, I have just been sitting here on pins and needles following the Gremlin's semi-stealthy race around Austin. That kind of excitement comes a dowager's way all too seldom.
But dears, we all know a cat would not be driving that car. It surely must have been a disguise, don't you think? Does anyone here know how big Mr. Sproul is? And does he have facial hair? Or back hair?
With a bare 24 hours left to file the Bill of Review, will Ms. Hamou/McConnell/Murphy make it? Will her health hold up? Will she avoid traffic accidents? Will she be raped or otherwise waylaid on the way into the courthouse?
And under what name will she file the Bill? Hamou? McConnell? Murphy? Ashkenazy? Abramou? Jordan? Chedid? Taylor? Something teasingly new?
Did the rear bumper survive last night's under-the-radar run from airport to town? Will the missing hubcap be found?
And how does a Moshein-ator work?
Oh, dears. I am just bubbling over with anticipation. So much awaits us tomorrow.
NOT JORDAN!
How wide are the doors at the UT campus library?
Greeting from Oregon! It's a GORGEOUS day here, clear, cool about 65 degrees. Colors of the trees are coming out, reds and yellows and some shocking oranges. We don't get a lot of orange in Oregon--not if you don't count the OSU Beavers and Beaver nation. . . .
Is a Moshein-ator similar to the Slap Chop?
Not for anything, Oma, but a bit less with the "no woman would joke about rape" crap. No real woman would make up a story of rape simply in order to score points in a ridiculous internet flame war that she provoked through her own venality and stupidity. I spent a great deal of my professional life working in countries where the oppression of women is institutionalized by a religious patriarchy that regards them as chattel for their husbands to use as they see fit. These women and girls deal with rape, real rape, on a daily basis with virtually no recourse. So if some of us get offended when you make up a ridiculous, half-assed story about being raped by men claiming that you "deserve" it because of things posted about you as the result of your pissant lawsuit --- as if --- and then you top it off with the distasteful lie that you lost a baby, you can fuck right along with your "I'm a girl, don't you dare make fun of me!" crap. Look, Oma, I can use the same kind of language as your "Snoopy" voice. Maybe it will take a little of that to penetrate the wall of selfishness and egotism in which you have immured yourself.
No love, girlfriend ---
Rebecca
Rebecca,
You have hit the nail on the head.
Nobody, NOBODY believes:
Nobody believes that "all those people" are posting on Oma Hamou's eponymous website.
Nobody believes Oma Hamou aka Alexandra McConnell was raped. Period
There has never been evidence presented, so would they?
Nobody believes anyone's animal were murdered because of something on the internet.
There has never been any evidence presented to support, so would they??
Nobody believes Oma Hamou using whichever of her many known alias names is in Austin.
Why should they?
Frankly, nobody, but NOBODY believes anything written by "team Hamou"..
They offer nothing but self serving, fraudulent, faked evidence, and NOTHING verifiable outside of "team H." so WHY should they?
Nobody thinks rape is ok. The problem is that Oma Hamou uses the allegation of rape as some sort of con game, which is a slap in the face to every woman who has been raped.
No, you silly bitch, you have proven nothing --- other than when you go off the meds, all sorts of things come spewing out. You have been caught YET AGAIN lying your ass off, Oma, and everyone knows it. "Everyone" being defined as those of us who post regularly to this forum. Most of the time your fantasies are pretty entertaining --- I was an actress, I was a model, I was an international player in the movie business, I was a business woman, I was a dolphin, I can fly!, I may be the reincarnation of a Grand Duchess (that was one fairly strange astrological report you posted earlier --- by the way, did you pay the astrologer, or couldn't he see that bounced check coming? --- but it is never entertaining to use rape charges mendaciously, and you, dear, are mendacious.
By the way? That means that you are a liar.
Rebecca
And Rob, I do wish you would enable us to post frownie faces to really make our posts look serious. Oma has them! Why can't we?
My goodness, the lady is on the ropes. She has been screeching like a howler monkey again, raving about how no one can "prove" she wasn't raped, no one can "prove" her animals weren't killed, no one can "prove" she wasn't a model or an actress, no one can "prove" she wasn't a grifter and a con artist, no one can "prove" . . . well, you get the idea.
Girlfriend, you have nothing. I do wish you could feel some sense of shame at using a faked rape and a faked assault on animals simply as a means of scoring points against people you dislike, but clearly you are far too mentally ill for that to be a possibility. But since you are the one making the claim, could you direct anyone to a police report that might cover any of this? No, of course you can't. How about this?
I was beaten up last night by crazed men outside my apartment in Manhattan while I was walking my dog. They killed Frobisher, and then knocked me against a wall. All the time they were muttering about how I had "deserved" this because of what I have posted about Oma Hamou on this board, merely when I was defending my friends against her vicious attacks. I have done nothing about this because I am afraid of retaliation . . . oh, wait. I have posted about it on the internet using the very name of the person I am accusing of inspiring the action.
Yeah, that makes sense.
PROVE IT DIDN'T HAPPEN.
Ass.
Rebecca
Frobisher was the kindest dog I have ever known. With his dying bark, he tried to defend me against the attack inspired by this woman.
This is really rich.
Hamou posts on the internet about being pitsol-whipped while forced to her knees by a man she married as his 10th wife.
Hamou posts police mug shots of herself after supposedly being beaten up by this man (who was, interestingly enough, never charged).
Hamou posts on the internet that she was brutally raped by people muttering about the attack being inspired by Moshein and Atchison.
Hamou posts that she lost a baby because of this rape.
Hamou posts pictures of herself in various states of undress all over the internet, including full nude shots.
Yet she is just too much a lady to discuss on the internet any details of her supposed rape that would show it actually happened.
Yeah. Right.
Bimbo baggage.
Oh, and Rebecca. So sorry about Frobisher.
Thanks, Blake. I'm pretty heartbroken about it, as you can imagine, and terrified for my life because of the assault. So I'm dealing with my tragic loss and near-death experience by posting about them on the internet. The same internet that I blame for causing them. I only wish I had a picture to post of me in my underwear to really highlight the grief.
And I suppose every court in Austin is on red alert today, no?
Rebecca
Oh, and Oma? I don't really want to use emoticons, although thanks for the lesson in how to do it without the real little faces. You see, I don't have the mentality of a teenager. Which must come in handy when you are writing Scooch_Pooch. Or as I think I will now call her, "Stella".
"Stella. Stelllllaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!"
Thanks, Nitzana, for that one.
Rebecca
Well, dears, I find it simply astonishing beyond belief that a woman who claims to have been raped by people who found out about her on the internet would continue to post sexually-titillating shots of herself on the internet.
Why, even yesterday she posted a cheesily-staged shot of herself in skimpy clothing from years gone by supposedly at target practice.
I know she calls herself a victim, dears. But where I grew up we used another term for such women, which I just cannot bring myself to utter in public.
Oh, by the way, Rebecca. I found a copy of that film you asked me about earlier -- Ken Russell's Whore. I also found this little synopsis of it on wikipedia:
"Liz is a Los Angeles prostitute the audience first sees attempting to get a customer on a busy downtown LA street near a tunnel. She addresses the audience directly on her life and problems throughout the film. When a van stops by, she gives it the brush off, recalling the last time she serviced a man in a van: it turned out there were several other men in the van, who gang-raped her and left her for dead. A passer-by helps her to the hospital, and even pays her bill there. She sends him a thank you note."
Enjoy, dear. At least some things in the film might be new.
"She addresses the audience directly on her life and problems throughout the film", uh, the internet.
LMAO
Gosh, Penelope, maybe you should share this with Nitzana. It sounds like Ken has already made her movie. Does Russell's protagonist ever go to Russia?
News flash, lowly ones.
A lime green Gremlin was found abandoned behind a fence at the end of a runway at the Austin International Airport early this morning. The car was missing two hubcaps, and what appeared to be a spoiler was charred from an apparent electrical fire.
The rear hatch was left open and the interior of the car was covered in orange dust and dozens of empty Cheetos and Fritos bags. Greasy orange fingerprints were left all over the inside of the car. Because of the smearing, police were not sure the fingerprints were human. They could have been cat paw swipes.
Several papers were scattered inside the car, including one that contained instructions for posting a bond on a Texas Bill of Review. This was badly crumpled, and also crumpled up inside it was a personal check made out to the Texas Clerk of Courts for $17,487.79 on the account of a Sunny Murphy-Romanoff. The words "Cashiers Checks Only" were heavily underlined several times on the bond instruction sheet in what appeared to be angry slashes. Several of the words on the instruction sheet had also run, as if someone had dripped water or perhaps cried on the sheet.
A tow company was called to take the car away, but the rear bumper, which had become semi-detached and was missing chrome all along its bottom edge, first had to be cut away.
The occupants of the car are still unaccounted for.
On a separate note, an airplane taking off late last night from Austin reported a loud bump just as it was lifting off. A baggage door was found loose upon landing in Los Angeles. Unidentified particles of orange dust were found on the handle. Authorities are perplexed.
My goodness! Such RAGE on this forum today! Do I need to get out the Pamprin? Hmmm? *Russo taps foot*
Dear Oma,
Newsflash, girlfriend: The judge did believe Bob Atchison. That's why you lost the case.
Newsflash, girlfriend: No one is making fun of a woman who was raped. We are making fun of you, Oma Hamou.
I must say, the Handmaiden character is an interesting glimpse into what she must have been like as a child. The pseudo-prissy little girl who sat there sticking her tongue out when words failed her. Snoopy, I suppose, represents the teen years. Uncouth, uncultured, boastful --- Oma was a pain in the ass at that point, according to her "official" biography, clashing with her father until she had to leave Michigan at the tender age of either 12 or 18, depending upon which version rings your chimes. Stella is just boring, and unconvincing as a character. This is the way I have heard the screenplay reads, so I assume we are seeing the fabulously "creative" side of her personality.
Anyway, I suppose she never made it Texas? Damn, I'm so surprised.
Oh, and Oma? You can't have it both ways, dear. You can't claim that you were traumatized by the whole "rape" experience and then post about it on the net. I swear to God, you are as dumb as a bag of hair, girlfriend. And I was born before 1960 (1948 to be exact), but if it makes you feel better about my poor downtrodden generation of females, I'll be happy to call you an asshole. Also, I am sitting here ina very nice corner office on the 13th floor of a midtown building. And you are?
Perhaps you consider a shot at being a demure, ladylike kind of girl.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH, BOOMCHOWLITTLE MUNKI, OH YEAH!
God, I can't even type that shit with a straight face, Oma. How on earth do you manage?
Rebecca Jordan
Goddam Lil Bit what the hell did you leave Big Mamas' gremlin in Austin for/ you know she needs the dam car to get around in and you promised to return it the way you found it, w2ith all three hubcaps and you know how we feel about when you and those cats eat cheetohs in the car, when that shit gets into the plastic seat covers it dont' never come out. The cops called us last night looking for you but we said we didnt know fuckall about where you was and we didnt' tell them you had left the state on account of they would throw your ass back in jail. but we need thaqt car back because the Pacer wouldnt6 turn over this mornign and how the hell we aere gonne get down to the store for lottery tickets I have no idea. so we need you to get it towed back from Austin to Victorville stat. your bro, Gomer
No Gomer, are you channeling Snoopy?? Hmmm? *tsk, tsk, tsk*
Greetings, minions.
Mr. Gomer, the Gremlin will be taken back to Los Angeles, but your Big Mama will not have the use of it.
An assistant for S. Spielburg has already contacted the Travis County authorities and secured the car for Mr. Spielburg's use as a prop in an upcoming movie.
His office was very specific. Nothing is to be done to the car to alter its current condition. There was some mention of preserving a necessary ambience for Mr. Spielburg's purposes, right down to the organge fingerprints.
The Pacer will have to do. It was a fine automobile in its day for a certain segment of the market.
Oh, yes. I meant to add,
"Your Lord and Master."
Darn. I always forget that.
Grand Shovel, don't forget: Lick my boots. Very necessary.
lISTEN gRAND SHIT or whatever you call tourself that aint gonna be good enough for Big Mama she needs a damn car/so you get that things back here we aint fgonna let it be in no movie about my sister. unless you pay us of course.
Lowly scum,
One does not address The Grand Shovel in such a manner.
You will have to take this matter up with Mr. Spielburg. And good luck, rapscallion. He is even more powerful than I.
Besides, I can't wait to see that movie.
Your Lord and Master,
The Grand Shovel
Oh Mighty Shovel!
She was not on the plane, oh most powerful one. That was us. We raced her out to the airport, although three of our number were flattened by 18 wheelers on the interstate. The truck drivers could not see them as the albinos were driving those little Shriner motorcycles and they couldn't see the trucks because even though it was night time they were still wearing the Ray Bans. There were squashed fezzes everywhere.
As they reached the airport we lost them for a second, and it must have been during this momentary, oh so MOMENTARY! lapse in our pursuit that Ms. Murphy escaped from the car. We forced our way onto the last airplane to LAX, but then couldn't get the baggage hatch closed. And there was an insane cat in the luggage compartment! He wore a tag that said "I am Red, I serve the Grand Duchess Oma!", and he was there to buy his mistress time for her escape by keeping us on the plane. There was a pitched battle at 14,000 feet between the feline and your faithful minions. The cat fought like a tiger, claws slashing and teeth biting as he hurled all but me from the plane to their deaths. Oh, the humanity! The humanity! Finally I was able to grab him by the ears and fling him into the ether. He vanished with an earsplitting yowl!
And I alone survived to tell the tale. Anyway, I'm back in Los Angeles. I look a little odd, dressed in a shredded Shriner's costume and covered with mercurochrome, but I am still thy minion, o Master of the Arcane. What next?
Illuminati. Thy minion. Thy only minion at the moment.
"Lowly scum?" Oh! *scribble, scribble* Must add that to the list! Thank You ever so kindly!
Illuminati, you have f---ed up again.
She apparently made it onto the plane that took off right behind all of you.
I picked up a report coming over the World Wide Web this morning from American Airlines. One of their flights from Austin to Los Angeles last night landed with less fuel than expected. When they ran the calculations, it equated to an extra 150 pounds of baggage.
I know you minions are mere mites. But 5.56 pounds each -- not counting the cat -- is a bit light, don't you think. Do the math, numchuk.
Fie. Fie.
Your Lord and Master,
The Grand Shovel
Aw, geeze.
Now I've got to start recruiting minions again, you incompetent bug.
And none of your relatives this time.
Your Lord and Master,
The Grand Shovel
A simple question:
Did the Bill of Review in Texas get filed by the deadline?
Anybody wanna guess?
I'm saying no.
Nothing filed with the Texas courts as of 2:10 p.m. today.
Did Mrs. Hamou not really go to Austin? Did her petition go missing in the mail? Did her team of crack lawyers get lost? Did they get raped on the way to the courthouse?
Is she really going to fritter away this very last chance ever to overturn that judgment that she has been saying FOR YEARS was fraudulently obtained and that she was going to PROVE it?
Or, as usual, when she makes a claim that requires ACTUAL PROOF instead of just endless pages of internet posts, is she going to crawl back under a rock and whimper and snivel about how malicious fate deprived her of her shot at justice?
Or maybe the petition will be filed in the next two and a half hours. After all, what's the point of doing anything if one cannot wrap it in high melodrama?
You don't have to worry none Gomer. I went over to Mama's to take her some lunch and change her bandage and I got the Pacer running while I was there. She didn't have money enough to be worth buying them big lottery tickets but I took her to the store and she got a couple of scratch offs. She won $25 and damn if she ain't happier than grunt. She spent that money on the big lottery and she's pretty sure she's gonna win. So its probably okay for you to come home tonight.
Omer, Powerball is up to 25 million!! How exciting for your mother! Good LUCK!
Why so quiet over on Hamou's forum? Is everyone out celebrating the filing of that Bill of Review? You know, the one that's been promised for months.
Now I know how Mrs. Bathelor feels. Always waiting for that "good" check that's coming any minute.
Quiet? Perish the thought! Why we've been regular Chatty Cathies over there!
Darlings! So much excitement! I suppose you've all seen the crowds gathering in Jerusalem on CNN? All you can see tonight here on the kibbutz is the blue glow of countless laptops as kibbutzniks watch the coverage of the Austin courthouse. We know how much hangs upon this for us, we know that our national existence hangs upon her ability to file the Bill of Review. It's like waiting for Moses to come down from Mt. Sinai with the commandments, I'm telling you.
Meanwhile, can I just say this? I am not happy about that Ken Russell movie. Not happy at all.
Such excitement, darlings!
Mazel tov!
Mitzele
Oh Mitzi! Is Netanyahu there as well? You know he's going to bomb the Iranians. *Russo shakes head*
Hello to you all, Amerikanski Friendskis! All Russia awaits news from Austin in Great State of Texas USA. Will Satan's Handmaid file Bill of Review against Bob Atchison and LIFE PARTNER Rob Moshein? Putin has withdrawn to his dacha to watch news and kiss small children on bellies. If Satan's Handmaid files will be taken as vote for restoration of Monarchy! Hokity Smokity!
Will be big disappointment if Satan's Handmaid is no show. Againski.
Sasha
HOKITY SCHMOKITY BATMAN! It's SASHA!
Darling Sasha!
Really? The restoration of the monarchy? Because I personally agree with the Rabbi in Fiddler: "G-d preserve and keep the Tsar, far away from us!"
It's so interesting to me that this thing has become so important in our part of the world. It has really split the country. Most of us are for Atchison, but there are a lot of Jews from Persia, oh exuse me, Iran who seem to favor You-Know-Who. We call them "Babylonians", and what can I say? They have a weakness for the shiksas.
You know that we love your country, Sasha. Most of the people on my kibbutz came from it, and not that they want to go back or anything, but still --- you never forget. The pogroms, the repression, the good old days for my people.
So exciting, darlings! So exciting!
Mitzi
Oh where, oh where has my little done gone?
Oh where, oh where can he be?
With his ears cut short and his tail cut long,
Oh where, oh where can he be?
He jumped all the stiles
And ran off with my files
Then chewed up my proof
And my case went poof.
Oh where, oh where can he be?
Five minutes to go! Crowds in Red Square have started countdown! Chants of "Oma! Oma! Oma!"
Hokey smokey, now chants of "Satan's Handmaid! Satan's Handmaid!"
Oooh! Oooh! Where's Dick Clark and the disco ball when you need it!!
They're throwing bagels here! The Hamouniks and the Mosehinniks are fighting in the streets!
The Faberge Egg has dropped!!!! And . . . nothing. For what does this mean? Did she not file?
But she PROMISED. Just like promises she makes to poor Pushkin.
Oh well. That's the way the samovar dents.
Paging General Deniken! Anton Deniken! Your services are needed!
Please, everyone. Show a little consideration for poor Ms. Hamou/McConnell/Murphy's feelings.
I feel quite certain she had hoped everyone had forgotten all those repeated and very strong assurances she gave a few weeks back that she had a team of lawyers preparing her Bill of Review.
She must be rather embarrassed that she has let her friends and supporters down yet again, and I really don't see the point of rubbing it in.
Given her track record of making good on promises, I really don't understand why any of you dears are making such a hubbub over what is simply nothing more than another commitment predictably ignored.
I think you should all just sit down and have a nice dinner and forget all about this. I'm sure Mr. H/M/M will do the same and wishes you would, too.
Nothing filed. Nada. Zero...
I hate to do this, but, well,
I told you so....
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
But Mr. Moshein, you LOVE to say "I told you so." It's your job, your goal your reason for living.
Vegas just called. Here are the latest odds on the "Team Hamou" excuse for not filing the long sworn to be coming Bill of Reviw:
"Oma decided to take pity and not file" 7-1
"Oma fainted on the way to the Court to file" 3-1
"Oma rushed to the Emergency room after being hit in the head with a foul baseball" 2-1
"Oma ordered to bedrest from a severe case of pneumonia/swine flu/bubonic plague" even money
"Oma was so traumatized by even being back in Austin she just could not get out of bed" even money
"Oma was raped in her hotel by thugs muttering about how she deserved it" even money
Attention, beings of limited intelligence.
I have been following FAA radio traffic all day, and there is a simple explanation for the Hamou woman's legal team missing the deadline.
They have been covering so much ground lately, what with trying to settle the felony charge against Ms. Hamou in San Bernardino; securing the D.A.'s permission for her to travel; trying to have the bench warrant in Los Angeles County quashed; filing the petitions to have her felony convictions expunged in Utah, Montana, and Wyoming; and getting everything ready to file for the Bill of Review in Texas.
They had simply lost control of their calendars and, without anyone noticing, the pilot of the private jet they had chartered for the last dash across all these finish lines had exceeded his allowable flying hours. The jet was on the taxiway at LAX this morning to head for Austin when this problem was caught, and the flight clearance was withdrawn just moments before wheels-up.
The legal team tried frantically to find a commercial flight that would get them to Austin in time for the filing. Unfortunately, there were no direct flights still available and, with the boxes and boxes of evidence they were carrying, they missed their connection in Oklahoma City.
Perhaps they'll have better luck with the expungements.
Your Lord and Master,
The Grand Shovel
I went with the combo bet.
Hamou was about to take pity but decided she had a higher duty to truth and justice after furiously e-mailing all her supporters for their advice. The heat from her laptop caused her to get faint and just as she was about to keel over a baseball from a neighboring diamond flew threw her motel window and knocked her out. She was rushed to the emergency room where she contracted several highly-contagious diseases from waiting too long for attention. Bedridden and feverish as she was, she was still so stunningly beautiful that the motel landscaping crew just couldn't resist raping her. This all happened in Austin.
I get half a payoff if any two of these excuses are used.
Damn.
I forgot to cover a car accident and the my-friend-had-to-abort-a-deformed-baby excuses.
She's used so effing many excuses over the years that it's hard to keep track.
I'm in for ten bucks. Swine flu. She got swine flu, and thanks to all of the stuff on the internet about her --- all of which, including the lurid accounts of her rape, miscarriage, dead animals and other fairy tales, she put up on the ineternet herself --- she has developed advanced agoraphobia.
And of course there is filing by email. And of course there is silly posturing. I wonder which is the more likely option. But I don't wonder much.
I'll tell you something I do wonder about, though. If all of the imaginary people on her forum are truly her friends, and Oma herself doesn't post --- stay with me here, I am going somewhere with this --- why on earth doesn't Oma choose better friends? They have no respect at all for her privacy, and the make her life living hell by posting time and again about her life. The beatings, the arrests, the rape, the dead animals, the jail time, the miscarriage, the --- I mean, God love you all, what exactly are you hoping to achieve by making your friend look like such an idiot all over the internet?
Okay, I just wanted to make the point. As you were, people. There are no other people than Oma posting on her forum (always excepting poor Mrs. Biernat), and she is her own train wreck with no outside help.
One can wonder. But not very much. Okay, off to walk Frobis --- I mean, off to walk my new dog. Because Frobisher was killed by people angry about what I have posted on the internet. Yeah. That's the ticket.
Rebecca
Oh, and Oma, it's nice of you to copy and paste everything from here over to there, but why not save yourself the trouble and just put up a url link?
Rebecca,
Thanks for sharing that the hummus dip pita chip child is now joining the ranks of "snoopy" as another foul mouthed illiterate psycho alter. This time tripping out over a dead cat. There have been LOADS of "dead cats" on Oma Hamou's watch, so why is this one different? I mean, "if" she managed to file the long promised, I mean, threatened, Bill of Review (which had not been done by the 5pm deadline and e filing doesn't change that if one reads the local rules of Civil Procedure for Travis County) why aren't the crowing about it and instead indulging in seventh grade name calling and vulgarity?? and this from the Sybill alters that proclaim how much "better than thou" they are in such high dudgeon and low intellect?
Alas, Poor Frobisher, we knew him well. Sail on brave Terrier unto thy Noble Valhalla for thy valient service to your plucky Mistress in her time of need.
and remember the creed from the 50s, "Better DEAD than RED"...or was that Better Red is dead??
oh, and we are a HUGE hit in Palmdale tonight. Palmdale Road Runner is very fixated on the blog...
Odd, nobody in Austin is reading it, except me, of course....
I'm curious. Do you have to take a test in Omiana before she gives you permission to post about her on the forum? Do you have to call her each time before you post, Stella?
But not nearly as curious as to how the legal system works in California and / or Texas. Private citizens can bring criminal charges? I guess it saves time to completely bypass silly entities like the district attorney's office and such, and of course it does explain how Mrs. Batchelor could get her pert heinder tossed into the clink after just reading about her on the internet? And of course it was "Snoopy" who told us that Oma's plane had landed in Texas? So she went there just to file by electronic means? So the computers in Austin are just better than those in Palmdale? I mean, it seems like an expensive trip to make considering you still owe your ex-landlady some dough, girlfriend.
It's all so passionate on her forum, isn't it? And yet none of it makes sense, does it? None at all.
Oh, and Stella? Just for you:
Oma wasn't raped and she didn't have a miscarriage.Those were lies. I know it's tough to be a teenager, but part of being an adult is the ability to tell lies from the truth, so suck it up, little bread stick, and make an effort. I know, it's like when you found out that there was no Santa Claus or that Red wasn't going to the cat farm upstate to run around with a lot of other cats. But Auntie Rebecca is telling you for your own good.
Rebecca, the kiddie's pal.
Oh no! "Snoopy" has traced my IP! New York here, checking in! And is "Latavia" an actual place? Also, this mess is apparently being followed in Liberia. Mitzi, I think she has tagged you as well, if your server is located in the Tel Aviv area.
Curse you, Oma Hamou! You are too clever for us naughty folk.
Oh, and Rob? Thanks for the condolences, but Frobisher is, I mean was a mutt. (This is very difficult to type, since he, I mean his ghost is perched on the chaise across from my desk, staring at me. Like Hamlet's father or something.
It would be much worse if you were real people, "Debbie", because then Oma would have the dumbest friends in the universe. It's probably better that none of you except poor Mrs. Biernat actually exist outside of Oma's imagination, because at least that way you don't collectively lower the IQ of Southern California.
To judge by his latest post, "Snoopy" alone could eradicate the numbers for Los Angeles. If you add "Debbie" and "Stella" and some of the others, it'd be like someone dropped a stupid bomb.
While we're on the subject of imaginary girlfriends and boyfriends, I would like to cast my vote yet again for the return of "Daryn". The sight of his WASP-y name used to make my typing fingers tingle. Give a sister a hand, Oma.
But. . .but . . "Snoopy". You have published many times that the Feds have been involved in the impending litigation against Atchison and Moshein. I have seen it myself on your forum and on copies of posts from the Legend of Anastasia that Rob forwarded me. And now you need "Debbie" to tell you they could be? Heavens to Betsy, were you lying when you said they were before?
"Sick, perverted, twisted and evil"? Ouch, "Debbie", I don't think Buddha would approve. But if you are judged by the calibre of those who hate you, I guess I can live with it.
I rest my case about your intelligence, "Snoopy" (Oma). I put "Debbie" in quotation marks to indicate that I do not consider her a real person. "Debbie" is Oma. "Scooch_Pooch", or Stella to those of us who love her, is Oma. "Mike"? Oma. "Sandman"? Totally Oma. Oma, Oma, everywhere.
It is this skill at intelligent reading of documents that has led you to so many of your rather bizarre interpretations.
Oh, SNAP, girlfriend!
Night, Oma! Grift well in the morning!
Uh, Hamou, you nitwit. Representing yourself in that supposed Bill of Review might not be the best idea.
That document you posted on your forum indicates Atchison is filing a Bill of Review against you, not the other way around.
In a Bill of Review, the defendant in the case that is being attacked becomes the plaintiff in the Bill of Review. As you were the defendant in the original case, you would be the plaintiff in a properly-filed Bill of Review, not Atchison.
LMAO
Oh, and "Handmaiden". I loved the post in which you said you were in the wrong branch of government to answer a question properly. You do realize that being incarcertaed does not constitute being in a branch of government?
It is not often in the practice of law that one sees something so mind-bendingly funny that he just rolls onto the floor in laughter.
However, we have just such a case with Ms. Hamou's supposed filing of a Bill of Review.
For starters, whoever heard of a person bringing a claim signing herself grandly as the "Defendant in pro se"? By very definition, a person seeking to initiate a legal action is the plaintiff. Even the most cursory reading of the law regarding Bills of Review shows that they are independent actions, not simply a refiling of an underlying case. So the person petitioning for a Bill of Review is the plaintiff, i. e., the one who initiates the proceeding.
I also cracked up when I saw that this supposed Bill of Review already has a case number. The petitioner does not assign the case number. It appears that Ms. Hamou forgot to white-out that little piece of info when she was recycling the cover sheet of the original lawsuit as her pretended new court filing.
I understand that, after having been a defendant in more than a dozen civil and criminal actions, Ms. Hamou might have trouble envisioning herself as a plaintiff. But she also claims to be an actress. What kind of actress can't get into even the simplest aspect her character?
You filed a bill of review against yourself? That's what I call customer service!
Oh, dear. It turns out that there really is wisdom in that old saying that a person who serves as his own lawyer has a fool for a client.
But really, my sweets. I am all confused again. Ms. Hamou/McConnell/Murphy says she is representing herself in order to thwart that nice Mr. Atchison's anticipated actions to harm her.
However does that work, dears? It would seem to me that such a situation would be the very one where a lawyer was most needed.
So how did Ms. H/M/M give her large team of lawyers the news that she was no longer going to use their services? They must have been very disappointed. And after all that time racing around airports and private air terminals. They must be very, very tired, the poor things. And to have it come to this.
Watercress sandwiches for everybody!
Just got off the phone with the District Court Clerk's office. The guy's exact words "No activity on that case in four years, nothing was filed yesterday". I asked about e-filing, he said, "Well if they efiled last night we'd still have it by now in the system. Nothing's been filed"
So, one of two things. Either it was not actually filed OR from the image Rebecca kindly sent me of what was allegedly filed, it was not in the proper form for filing. The Travis County local rules are most clear in Section 15 that the Clerk will not accept a document for filing that does not conform to all requirements for filing. Given that the document purporting to be the "Bill of Review" does not BEGIN to conform to the Court's filing rules, most especially the incorrect style of the case and incorrect format of the petition it was most likely rejected. Given the local rules do not extend time of deadlines, the time for Bill of Review is now lapsed.
Rebecca, I hate to break it to you, it being Friday and all, but Debbie/handmaiden is a REAL person. I spoke with her on the phone. I've spoken to Ms. Hamou numerous times as well and as Mr. Moshein is the first (and Mr. Atchison is the second) to make fun of Ms. Hamou's voice, I can tell you that they are vastly different.
Oh! Miss P! Watercress sandwiches! Lovely! Don't mind if I do! You know our experiment with gluten-free bread products isn't going as well as I'd like. We tried chocolate chip cookies last night and of course, you know you need a thickener as the flour is made of garbanzo beans and the guar gum we used left a nasty aftertaste. Not good at ALL! So it's on to Arrowroot! March on Ye Natural Soldiers!
Oh, dear, Ms. Hamou/McConnell/Murphy. Did you not realize there is a difference between a crack team of lawyers and a team of crack lawyers?
How disappointing that they made such a hash of this case, dear. Could that handsome Mr. Watson not have been of help to you here, dear? He's been so very effective in getting that felony charge against you dropped promptly. Why, it's been barely a year, and in a mere two more months you'll know whether things worked out with that D.A. who has been so very considerate in letting you travel hither and yon while you are out on bail.
One thing did confuse me further, though, Ms. H/M/M, dear. The filing you posted said you were awaiting a transcript from the original trial. But, dearest. Haven't you posted copiously from that transcript in the past? Have you lost that copy? Oh, you silly little butterfingers. What are we going to do with you?
And dear Mr. Moshein. My heart goes out to you, too. I know you and Mr. Atchison were so looking forward to that bond being posted for the amount of the judgment awarded to Mr. Atchison -- and the subsequent interest.
It does appear to be a disappointing day all around, my sweets. Truly, I am so sorry.
I'm not even sure the freshest finger sandwiches could dispel this all-around gloom.
Sounds to me like Hamou might just want to make certain that all those crack attorney's have their Malpractice insurance current.
"According
to the Texas Supreme Court, “A bill of review is an independent
equitable action brought by a party to a former action seeking to
set aside a judgment which is no longer appealable or subject to
motion for new trial. Independent means it is filed as a new
law suit, bears its own cause number, and has its own elements.” Baker v. Goldsmith, 582 S.W.2d 404, 406 (Tex. 1979)
No new suit, with its own NEW case number, pleading the statutory elements required under law was filed within the statutory time.
OH, and how happy will the Court be when they hear that Oma Hamou LIED to the court??
That document says she is "waiting to get the trial transcript." Well, how will she explain to the court that for four years now, she has crowed about HAVING the transcript and been posting PAGES from that transcript??
I'd look up "unclean hands"...just fyi.
This just gets better and better. And, after that opener where she signed her own petition as the defendant, I didn't think that was possible.
Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh haaaarrrr haaarrr haarr har.
Hedley?? Are you choking? Here let me smack your back for you! *Russo slaps Hedley's back* there now! Isn't that better? Oh! I AM Sorry! Were those your false teeth? I'll just brush them off for you. . . really, I DO so apologize. .
Well, enough levity for now.
Perhaps I can help you understand things better, Ms. Hamou, by referring you to an excellent article on Texas Bills of Review in the Journal of Consumer & Commercial Law.
For starters, it points out that Bills of Review are extraordinary procedures that are defined not by statute but by case law:
"If you have not handled a bill of review proceeding before, do not bother looking for assistance in the rules of civil procedure . . . . Look instead to the case law and, in particular, a series of well known Texas Supreme Court cases on bills of review . . . ."
The article also explains that:
"A bill of review is not an appeal of the underlying judgment, but rather a direct attack on the judgment . . . . The defendant in the underlying suit becomes the plaintiff in the bill of review."
(Strrrrike 1 . . .)
Also, the petitioner has to state in the original pleading (Strrrrike 2 . . . )and then to prove (Strrrrike 3 . . . )he was prevented from using the normal appeal procedure to contest the judgment.
(Ye'r out!)
This requirement that a regular appeal first be exhausted if it was at all possible is the reason that almost all Bills of Review are filed by people who had a default judgment entered against them in a lawsuit of which they were never aware -- hence their inability to appeal a judgment they did not know had been entered against them.
Obviously, as the judgment against you was handed down on one of those rare occasions when you actually made it to court, you cannot claim that you did not know you needed to file an appeal to contest the judgment.
I'd sue those crack lawyers who advised you on this if I were you, because they certainly cost you your opportunity to seek redress.
It was also not the best of ideas to file at the very last moment. While courts usually allow a corrected pleading to be filed within the deadline, they do not allow one to be filed after the deadline has passed. No one who had the slightest knowledge of legal procedure would wait until the last minute to file anything, for the very reason that inadvertent errors cannot be corrected.
Yes, I'd definitely sue if I were you. Since your own lawyers have sued you twice, wouldn't that be a nice turn of events for you?
FOUR years to file a Bill of Review.
Screeching the whole time that she will PROVE IN COURT that Atchison is the lying scum she says he is.
But she waits to file until the last moments of the last day.
And then "accidentally" sends in the wrong form.
So now she can start screeching all over again that she WOULDA COULDA PROVED that Atchison is lying scum ... if only there hadn't been that unfortunate confusion between her and her lawyers.
She has the proof. She really does. Really, really. But through no fault of her own (when is it ever?), her bullet-proof evidence won't ever see the light of day in a court where evidence has to actually stand up to scrutiny.
Bimbo Baggage
Alrighty, which one of us wins the pot? It wasn't swine flu, and she wasn't sick, and she wasn't kidnapped on her way to court, and she wasn't at Cedars (OR WAS SHE???) and she wasn't in Austin at all, but she didn't get to file.
So who wins the betting pool? DiCastelis took five bucks off me this morning. I believe his exact quote after looking at the "Bill of Review" she posted was "Like shooting fish in a barrel, Rebecca."
I need a watercress sandwich.
Rebecca "Down a Hamilton" Jordan
Here I go again, my pets. All confused.
If Ms. Hamou/McConnell/Murphy used e-filing to submit her brief to the court, whyever did she need to go all the way to Texas?
Once in Austin, if only she had gone to the clerk's office in person. The clerk could have told her of the many errors in her petition, and she could have corrected them right then and there, while there was still time.
Or is it possible that she actually is not allowed to travel under the terms of her bail bond agreement?
This really is confusing, my dears.
Oh, yes. I almost forgot.
What of that green Gremlin? If Ms. Hamou was e-filing her brief, how did that green Gremlin get brought into the story? Of course, by becoming associated with the H/M/M saga, I expect it became quite valuable to someone such as Mr. Spielburg. Quite valuable.
What? Er, um . . . Can't you see I'm busy. Go away, you low beings.
Speilburg is interested in the Gremlin? Is he running a Hollywood "Cash for Clunkers" program??
"Handmaiden" (actually Oma) just posted:
"Are those quotations marks your way of saying that it was not an accident on her part that she filed the wrong one and has to fix it in the ammendment? If so, once again you are completely wrong. Remember that she is not a lawyer. She is doing her best, but she is also merely human, and mistakes happen."
She's also not a speller ("ammendment"), but let's leave that aside for the moment. We know she is not a lawyer, but we weren't the one saying that she was consulting with lawyers, being advised by lawyers, and the lawyers had decided that it was best of she filed herself. (As if --- I'm not sure why the concept of a billable hour isn't in her lexicon. Oh, wait, yes, I am. She doesn't pay lawyers. My bad.) But by golly, Rob, you were right. Whatever happened, she would claim that she "made a mistake."
You bet.
Rebecca
I have the document recorded purporting to be filed as GN-09-00347, the Clerk was nice enough to email it to me.
The document is in fact the exact same document "Snoopy" posted, with the INCORRECT Plaintiff and Defendant, the INCORRECT Case number and failing to state to be a Petition, and failing to ask for relief, further certificates of service were also not filed, as required by the Rules of Civil Procedure.
This is NOT an "amendable" Petition. I suggest Oma finds out who carries the "lawyers" malpractice insurance. A NON DOCUMENT was filed. The deadline is passed. You don't have to take my word for it. The Document filed is not a NEW CASE...
Boy, Penelope. You can't win. Yesterday Handmaiden (Oma) was yelling at you for being from before 1960 and one of those submissive women more concerned with being ladylike than free, free, FREE compared to the tomboy Stella and "Debbie" herself, strong independent Buddhist that she is, and now . . . you're getting it in the neck because you aren't ladylike enough.
I'm so confused. Pass one of those watercress sandwiches, will you? Oh, I'm sorry. Will you, please.
I try.
Handmaiden (actually Oma) just posted:
"Rob, you have already proven to us on more than one ocassion that you are not what anyone should consider to be a competant attorney. Furthermre, we are well aware that you and your partner, Bob, have been perfectly willing to stoop to the lowest levels in trying to keep Oma from filing. Therefore, rather than continuing your babble, why don't you just give up trying to intimidte Oma. You are failing miserably. In fact, you are actually comming across as frightened. It seems like you're concerned that your partner will lose and will be proven to be a criminal. One who stoops to fraud. For now, just leave it to th courts to decide.handmaiden
Well, the courts did decide. Pay up.
Or do you mean about the "Bill of Review"?
Also, your facade of grammar/spelling concern kind of cracks under stress, doesn't it?
Rebecca,
Here in Texas there is a saying. "Never try to teach a pig to sing. It will only frustrate you and annoy the pig."
I'd say the Pig is clearly rather annoyed, from what you posted.
Sorry guys to not have been around for a while to answer your questions, I've been on the phone for a long while with New York about the Bordeaux Wine Council program, things are really moving forward quickly. I'm so happy that they are so pleased with my work to date.
I've been approached by a cable television show about wine in the Austin region to consult with them, and a GENUINE screenwriter is in discussion with me about consulting on her screenplay for a comedy set in the wine business...So much to do
Plus Bob is busy providing material for some restoration work being done in Russia. I can't provide the details as we don't want the poor folks in Russia to be bombarded with continued lunacy from Oma Hamou and her many alias names and fictional "friends"...
That's alright, Rob, and the email was more than satisfactory. As you requested, I forwarded it to Mitzi. Talk to you tomorrow.
Love,
Rebecca
Oooo, pets, sweets, and dears. I'm just so excited I can hardly contain myself.
Legal proceedings abound all around, it seems. Finally, assuming she manages to avoid jail or probation in California, we'll find out whether Ms. Hamou/McConnell/Murphy is really a size 8 stunner with a pert ass.
I am simply shivering in anticipation. And thank goodness I bought year-round weight wools, because who knows just how long it will take for this saga to unfold?
Simply shivering, I tell you.
Oh yes P.
Many opportunities coming in the very very near future for you. Hearings a plenty. The weather in Austin will be cool and cloudy with occasional rain over the next few weeks.
Well, I miss you too, Oma, but I am on eastern Long Island for the weekend. But I'm thinking about you lots. Feel better?
Rebecca,
Bob says to thank DiCastelis for the research.
oh, and yes, Oma was not in Austin, because the document she filed says she executed it in LOS ANGELES on that day, so unless Oma lied on a court document, she wasn't here.
It never occurred to me that she had been, Gremlins and corn chips notwithstanding.
I actually had dinner with DiCastelis tonight. He and his wife have a place just down the road they use for weekends. He has take a few looks over "there" today, and he has a few more suggestions. Can I give him your email address? It is a little cumbersome for me to forward his research to you, and it would probably expedite things if you communicated directly with him.
Regards,
Rebecca J.
Please do. Of course it would be easier for him to contact me directly. Again, so kind of him to assist Bob.
Hope you had a great weekend.
R
Oma,
Where on earth did you get the idea that DiCastelis is a detective? Not at all, dear.
I assumed you missed me because when you posted as "Handmaiden" you expressed concern that it was so "quiet" over here. My bad.
My "ilk"? Too many romance novels, Oma.
And of course you didn't travel to Austin. Just as of course you weren't raped, or bore a child in Russia, or were a model, or an actress or any of the things that you have claimed.
Hope that clears up any confusion, girlfriend.
Rebecca
Well, dears, I woke up to sunshine and good spirits this morning only to have them instantly dashed when I read Ms. Hamou/McConnell/Murphy's forum.
What kind of ungrateful daughter would deride her own mother's car? Women who bear children, do their best to raise them, and then see them repeatedly in jail, on probation, living under various aliases, under felony prosecution, rooming with career forgers, and ducking a string of civil judgments, only to see those children ridicule their sweet mothers' financial conditions truly do bear the world on their shoulders.
Drive that Gremlin with pride, Mrs. Big Mama. You did all you could with what you had. You have nothing of which to be ashamed (except, sadly, your children).
And I really would advise Ms. H/M/M that when she tries to write as different characters, it is not a good idea to carry the same grammatical errors forward from one character to another. It rather spoils the effect, dearest.
At least, though, I have all the doings that will surround this famous Bill of Review to anticipate with delight. And here I was, all afraid that this wonderful little sideshow to life that is the Oma Hamou Story would soon run out of steam once the felony case in San Bernardino was resolved.
Oh, and Rebecca, my dear. I just love the little digression whereby Mr. Snoopy insists Ms. H/M/M traveled to Austin for some mysterious and weighty purpose while she was simultaneously filing a Bill of Review electronically from California.
And those lawyers of hers! Lord spare me such legal counsel. What kind of law firm would prepare even a first draft of a document that confused the plaintiff with the defendant? I know Ms. H/M/M prefers lawyers who are not over-educated, but this little episode really pushes the envelope. I'm afraid all those criminal expungement proceedings in Utah, Montana, and Wyoming are going to be uphill battles, my dears.
At least, though, I have the wardrobe to see me through it all. All is not lost, my sweets.
Rebecca,
The "snoopy" posts you sent me were laughable. All of the regular readers know who DiCastelis is, and what he does at your bank. The fact they fear it is a private detective service only displays her, er, "their" utter paranoia, and over inflated self absorbtion (you know, the typical Oma Hamou "ITS ALL ABOUT ME DAMMIT, I'M IMPORTANT, I'M SOMEBODY DAMMIT")
and it makes complete logical sense that Oma Hamou CAME to Austin Texas early in the week and FLEW BACK to LA the day after, in order to email one horribly done useless piece of paper at 10pm on the last possible day as a filing...Right,sure it does.
Why the F*** do I need to "prove it goddammit"...? when the reality is that nobody gives a week old rat turd about Oma Hamou, except the voices in her head and the criminals she invites into her home....
Gosh, yes, Oma, you do manipulate all of us "seperate" (sic) voices so well, girlfriend. "Your" amazing. It's a shame you haven't been able to manipulate the "seperate" strands of your own life with the same surgical precision, but then you can't have everything.
And Penelope, I suspect that the raft of lawyers who prepared the Bill all share living quarters with "Snoopy", "Handmaiden", Stella, "Mike", "Sandman", "Take a Hike", "Kyle Nelson" and my boo, "Daryn Harrington". Oh, and "Leslie". We mustn't forget "Leslie".
Only poor Mrs. Biernat has a place to hang her hat that doesn't occupy space in Oma Hamou's prefrontal lobe.
R.
"Chatter means money in the entertainment business"? Really, Oma? Given your utter lack of track record in that business, how would you know this?
Dear Rebecca,
No, she really believes that. I think you guys do not realize how much she wants to be famous. It has been the driving force in her life. What keeps her going is the idea of seeing herself on the cover of something like Entertainment Weekly. I mean, you wouldn't believe how proud she when she got Variety to run that cheesy picture of her in the ad for the movie.
Justin
Hey, Justin ---
But it's like I was saying the other day on the phone, she doesn't work for anything, she keeps thinking that life is going to hand everything to her. That somehow she is owed fame and fortune. If she spent 1/10 of the time working honestly as she does on hosing people, she could be the actual Empress of Russia by now.
How are you doing, kid?
Rebecca
I'm ok, Rebecca. Thanks again for putting the word for me at the bank. They couldn't believe I had a reference from someone like you in New York! The background check was a little rough because of her crazy forum, but they decided that she was nuts so I passed. I really think your letter of recommendation helped the most!
Oh, Mr. Moshein. You go too far, my dear, in saying some of us don't care about Ms. Hamou/McConnell/Murphy any more than, er, ah, aged rat leavings.
Personally I find her travails to be gripping beyond measure. Such a very human drama, set against the fantastical backdrop of Russian history, imperial palaces, and reincarnated royals.
I simply don't know where to find a story that twists and turns as this one does. Why, it's got everything, my dear: a multiple-convicted felon hauled into court yet again, a puzzle of aliases and ever-changing addresses, victims galore, nude photo shoots, the love of animals, the love (and money) of old men, delusions of grandeur set against the reality of not so much grandeur, comically-melodramatic movie scripts, melodramatically-comic postings on faux history forums, dancers at a perpetual Masque Ball of the Insane who cannot keep their masks up.
As Rebecca is so wont to say, "you can't make this shit up." NOT the way I would have expressed it, but a sound observation nonetheless, my pets.
Dear Oma,
I don't put Stella in quotation marks because I created the name. Pay attention, dear. I do not think she is real. I do not think "Handmaiden" is real. I do think that there was a real Mike Newson involved in this at one point, but not for years. You have simply hijacked the poor man's name, as you have Justin's. I only know that poor Mrs. Biernat is real because Rob has confirmed she is, as opposed the reat of your merry band of characters.
His name is DiCastelis. He is quite real, as indeed am I. That being said, feel free to disbelieve in me, although it does seem a little hard on Bob Atchison to tag him with my identity, sweetheart, since when he did post here a few months ago he had no compunction about doing it under his own name. Nor does Rob, for that matter.
As you yourself just pointed out, there is no record of an Oma Hamou appearing in a single, solitary non-pornographic movie or television show. I am sure she worked under a false name, since she has done so many other things under different identities, but it is a little difficult to believe that you had a career as an actress/slash model when there has never ever been a single thing posted that might qualify as a screen capture or a print ad from something you did back in the day.
No matter. There is a real Justin, there is a real Penny, there is a real Mitzi and there is a real me. I actually sent a gift to the "Russophile" who postred here some time ago, and she called to thank me, but the name she gave me wasn't poor Mrs. Biernat's, so I haven't got the faintest idea in hell who she really was.
Also, I write like a man? How on earth do you reconcile these idiotic, sexist statements with your "women born before 1960 are submissive" crap? I write like myself, thanks very much. If by female writing you mean I don't screech like a howler monkey or throw childish insults around --- "Snoopy" and "Handmaiden", take a bow.
One more time: I would never make fun of a woman who was raped, or the act of rape. I am making fun of you, Oma Hamou, a woman who has stooped to bringing this into a silly internet flame war. On the very off chance that people are actually reading this stuff (Rob, are people reading this other than the regulars?), it is important that you don't get to diminish the very real suffering of rape by using it as some sort of verbal trick.
I realize that this is going to unleash yet another round of screeching and caterwauling over on your forum, Oma, and that's alright. You don't have to believe a single thing you don't want to, girlfriend. But it is a little rich to hear you squall like a brat about a lack of "proof" when you have offered not one shred that anything, anything at all you have claimed to be true about yourself actually is. True.
The creeching may now commence. Pass me a watercress sandwich and a cup of tea, Penelope.
BoomCHOW, fat ass!
Rebecaa
Oh.My.God.
Oma has just posted a picture of more terrified cats. Penelope, get the car, these two look ready to go over the side.
Still, it is a distinct improvement of the last shot she posted, of her pert ass jutting out at the camera as she shoots a gun. I guess you can take the gilr out of West Virginia, but . . .
Rebecca,
Well, Palmdale reads here multiple times a day, as does Orange County California, Glendale CA, a proxify service and Cincinnati Ohio about once a day. Plus the regulars.
The most interesting thing is the "handmaiden" post you sent me from earlier today where she states as a FACT that Oma Hamou was not in Los Angeles the day the one page thing was filed by email. I'm holding the copy I got from the District Court. at the bottom is states "Executed in Los Angeles, California on October 8, 2009, signed Oma Hamou."
So who is lying? "handmaiden" that Oma was NOT in Los Angeles on October 8, or did Oma Hamou LIE ON A COURT DOCUMENT?? One can't have it both ways....One or the other is a liar...but which one??
Hey, Biernat! Congrats on maybe dumping that insurance gig of yours. I mean it.
If you're worried about the internet, though, you might want to clean up the countless posts you've peppered elsewhere about your constant swizzling of merlot and rum and cokes.
Also, you might want to rethink that old post about sending your son -- you know, the one you pointed out was in the Military in Texas -- to drop by Rob Moshein's house to, uh, straighten things out. Or all the talk about how your husband might step in to take care of things. A lawsuit would be a blast, girl. Moshein would get to examine the hard drives at your hubby's little business.
Exactly how you'll explain knowlingly consorting with a woman who has multiple felony convictions, a string of outstanding civil judgments that were never satisfaied, and is currently charged with forgery is up to you, of course. But should be fun to watch.
Let 'er rip, gal.
Wouldn't that be fun Blake? I'd certainly examine YOU first.
So much anger! Some needs a Pamprin, maybe?
Oy, she kills me with this constant yap yap yap about how everyone believes her. Sweetheart, Omele, darling, you've been more involved with the legal system than anyone I know, and who has believed you? The court systems out west? The court systems in Texas? Maybe your boyfriend Putin believes you, but, honestly, darling, I wouldn't trust him in a pinch.
Darling, you have bupkes, as we say.
Wheeeee......
And, since my main point has been that you're not too smart, Biernat, I'll get to have an IQ test administered to you.
Wheeeee......
No, Mitzi, never use the stuff. No need. But I can get you some and some bupkis as well.
No you won't Blake. No need. But! Everybody's addys and ID's would be mine, now wouldn't they? Imagine the fun I'd have with that.
So you'd stipulate to the lack of intelligence, Biernat? Okay by me.
Oh Blake you're such a CARD! Get Headly back in here for your hardee har har. I seriously don't care what you think of me. I just want to know WHO YOU ARE. Wouldn't that be fun! Imagine the fun we would have.
After all Blake, you know so much about ME, I think quid pro quo would be so much fun, don't you?
Settle down, schatzis, settle down.
Oma, can I tell you how proud I am, darling? On your last post as "Snoopy" you spelled "Gddamn" instead of taking His name in vain. I'd be sucking up to him too, if I was in your shoes, but who cares why you have suddenly seen the light? It's just a smart move, and I appreciate it. On the other hand, you seem to be having tose anger management issues again. There aren't any pots of hot coffee near you, are there? I worry about the cats.
Also, why don't you make Bob Atchison and his LIFE PARTNER (seriously, darling, don't they have gay people in Palmdale? What's the deal with this kvatch the day after all of those nice young men and women marched all over your country's capital for their civil rights? Shame on you for being so nasty about other people's sexual orientation. It's not like they're cutting into your territory or anything) an OFFER. You take down your forum, darling, and Rob takes down this one and you all stay away from each other for the rest of your lives? Of course, you still owe him thousands of dollars, so I can't see why he would give you a free pass, but you never know.
I ask because I care, darling.
Mitzi
Forgot to ask, Biernat.
Will you be using Hamou's attorney in Victorville (assuming he ever gets her current year-long case off his back) or those crack attorneys in Texas who got the plaintiff and the defendant mixed up?
I have my own, Blake, but hell, I'd sue you for a Klondike bar.
"gilr" is a typo, Oma. I am not making fun of your typos, girlfriend, I am making fun of the pomposity with which you correct other people's writing. Pay attention.
Oh, and the cats do too look terrified.
I sorta figured you as a woman who would need to keep a lawyer nearby, Biernat.
Your friends certainly do.
As I said.....
Wheeeeeeeee.
Our IT department says no dice to the explanation as to where she was when she filed. Not that I really care, but since we get accused of lying at the drop of a hat . . .
Not for what you think, Blake. And I'm not going to enlighten you on that. There is more going on that meets your eyes.
Does it have anything to do with prosthetics?
Hmmmm. No Blake. Sorry. No Q-P doll for you.
So Oma LIED to Court. She was NOT in Los Angeles, but pretended she was. See the words "executed in Los Angeles" mean she SIGNED THE PAPER in Los Angeles. Not that she "emailed it from an address she usually uses IN Los Angeles". See, for example, lets take the known enigmafilms@aol.com address. An aol.com email address doesn't "trace back" to Los Angeles, EVER. It resides on servers in Reston, Virginia. ALL emails from aol.com come from there.
Nope, Old Miss Oma Hamou stated in writing she EXECUTED the document in LOS ANGELES on October 8,2009. If she signed that paper she scanned ANYWHERE else than Los Angeles, she LIED to the Court in writing.
Darling, I can't keep southern California straight. Nitzi has spent time there, as you know, because you did that verkackte interview with her. Bitsy and Fritzi travel a lot. Me, not so much. And Oma, you do move around a lot. Always one step ahead of the you-know-what! So exciting!
Well, I'm sorry you just don't want to consider my proposal, Omele and I haven't heard a peep out of Rob Moshein and his LIFE PARTNER. So I suppose it won't fly.
Too bad. I offered because I care.
Shalom!
Mitzi
Oma is going to Austin to meet with lawyers and law enforcement? Will she be telling them that she will be paying them? Because . . . well . . .you know.
As for the law enforcement folk, why doesn't she just mail electronically send her mug shot. We keep trying to tell you, save money where you can. And you did it before. You can always say you went to Austin.
R.
Mitzi,
No, Oma Hamou does not have a brother who died from AIDS. Since your next question is probably going to be "then how could she say something like that?!", let me try and explain. It's like the rape thing. There is literally nothing she will not say to get at Moshein and Atchison.
Justin
IF YOU READ CAREFULLY OMA YOU WILL SEE THAT I DID NOT SAY JUSTIN (I) DID NOT HAVE A BROTHER WHO DIED FROM AIDS I SAID YOU DIDN'T. YOU PRETENDING TO BE ME.
AND WTF OMA AM I SUPPOSED TO BE SCARED SHITLESS BY THE ASSHOLE DEVIL SMILEY FACE?
Yes Rebecca, it IS hysterical how "everything is being downloaded" by Team Hamou. They've been making these same howler monkey screechings for six years now. "Everything" is being "carefully downloaded, to be given to the police.
Why just earlier today I found a post from June 2006 where they said that "over 200 pages of downloaded material" was turned over to the "police"....
I'm certain the Gestapo will be kicking in the door any moment now. Really, they've been "building their case" for six years already.
Same crap, different day. Team Hamou can't come up with anything genuine, so they resort to the same old tired worn out useless threats.
So, clearly the "english major" doesn't understand the simple term of "executing a document"
To "execute a document": v.to sign and otherwise complete a document, such as acknowledging the signature if required to make the document valid. (see any good legal dictionary).
Not to "email" from a place...but to sign it AT the place indicated.
So IF Oma Hamou signed that she "EXECUTED" that document "in Los Angeles on October 8, 2009" but was NOT IN LOS ANGELES on October 8, 2009, she LIED to the Court. period. full stop. They can squirm and play semantics all day, but won't change the reality that SOMEBODY on Team Hamou is a LIAR...
OHHHHHHH ooooooo, so scary "get ready for round two" emoticon face...OHHH Oma Hamou is "doing something" filing something, filing police reports...VERBAL MASTURBATION NOTHING MORE.
Thanks Rebecca. The world has been waiting with bated breath for "rond two for some five years... viz:
November 11, 2004 "Justin Edwards" wrote: We won't know when until probably next week when to upload the timeline presentation, as the law enforcement are investigating stalking, harassment, fraud, forgery, tampering with evidence and some other things that are holding things up. So we need to wait until the law enforcement people say we can. ... We don't want to taint the criminal investigation."
August 2006 her cronies were writing in full headlines "Oma Hamou wants Bob Atchison to go to Jail...I can tell you this, that Oma Hamou works night and day towards getting Bob Atchison put in jail. She wants him to go to jail. " and still August 2006, under her own name "with respect to Bob Atchison I want the court to order him to be put in jail for the crimes that he has perpetrated on the court (perjury & fraud) and on me" and here is something she herself wrote, under her own name:
November 26, 2007 "you were put on notice of my intent to file criminal charges against Bob Atchison, Rob Moshein and Pallasart Web Venture, Inc. ... the fact that you have been put on notice of the pending litigation."
Again, on her own website on Sunday, February 24, 2008:
I hate him. I am not sorry to admit this. The man is a criminal and a complete fraud. I want him to go to jail. and on March 17, 2008:
I will not rest until Bob Atchison, Pallasart and Rob Moshein are held accountable for the crimes they've perpetrated against me. Despite what Rob Moshein published on the web about this matter, prosecutors have assured me a verdict based on 'amongst other things' fraud can be overturned and the person perpetrating the fraud can go to to jail and/or be convicted of having committed the crime.
July 13 2006:This afternoon (she) sent several letters out by email and by regular mail to several people as a preliminary and necessary step of the pending litigation...The police believe in the criminal complaint that (she)'s filed against Bob and Pallasart and everyone says that she's got a great civil case against them....I do plan to file a civil lawsuit against you and Pallasart in the near future and have been cooperating with law enforcement in my criminal complaint against your company and yourself.. on August 30, 2006: at least one District Attorney / Attorney General was significantly shocked/concerned by the total effort documented in the 200 plus pages of documents submitted by (her) to various law enforcement agencies, and that were verified by their officers/agents and turned over to them that they are willing to prosecute. we know that this is going to go to court --- as that is what Oma Hamou is devoted to right now. I can tell you this, that Oma Hamou works night and day towards getting Bob Atchison put in jail. She wants him to go to jail. ... well we all (Oma’s friends and former employees of Enigma and such) have absolute confidence in the lead lawyer. We’ve been patiently waiting to file the next round of briefs until the attorneys get all the transcripts in, which I’m told will be sometime next week, with any luck. I know that we have been expecting this to happen for some time, but the court reporter has been awfully busy with other trials that put our request on the back burner. Tell you what, when the brief gets filed (3 briefs) we will publish on this forum their links so people can read and judge for themselves.
cont.
September 17, 2006 "Mike Newson" wrote: "As to Oma, I know for a fact, she is busy reviewing transcripts, police reports and such because as I understand it they’ve got less than 3 weeks to file that pleading and the clock is ticking. I also know that her criminal complaint is being taken seriously and since I personally have provided Affidavits and such I know that it is real.
September 26, 2006"Mike" wrote Two Harvard graduates and members of Mensa and a few other groups that are even more rarified and difficult to belong to are working with her towards this next civil suit and are not in the least concerned with the objections that Rob has raised."
9-27-2006, published on the net, speaking to me personally: "This is going to court and to trial, make no mistake; all the Court Transcripts are now complete... Expect something to be filed within 10 days, as the legal team has to finish fine tooth combing the remaining pages of transcripts first. But it is going to happen, and then the world will see who is telling the truth"
ohhh we're all SOOO scared. SOOOO worried... Can't wait to make certain everyone Oma owes money to knows where to find her.
Seriously, I mean this...
How many years and how many times does someone threaten "criminal and civil" actions, happening "any day now" before you look like a
TOTAL DOUCHEBAG??
REALLY? nobody with functioning neural connections and an IQ over 10 BELIVES YOU ANYMORE.
For six years, "team Hamou" says the EXACT SAME THING. BUT NOTHING EVER HAPPENS.
don't you get it? Your credibilty is zero.
nobody gives a crap.
nobody BELIEVES you.
YOU LOOK LIKE A BLUSTERING DOUCHE.
as for the "bill of review", well, lots of cool stuff awaits.
Oh, right, Blake,
Most astute of you to point out that Oma Hamou "asked law enforcement to investigate". But when law enforcement was asked to investigate Alexandra McConnell alias name for Oma Hamou, they ARRESTED HER FOR FELONY FORGERY, and it did not take years, it took days at most.
Helllooooo. Where is everyone, dears?
I just dropped in to say that I've restocked on absolutely the best dust-free cat litter and just the most delicious premium kitty food, so I'm ready for any new guest refugees that come my way.
Bye, bye for now, darlings.
Oh that's so lovely of you, Ms. P. Just don't forget to remind Gomer that the lump in the cat box is NOT Almond Roca. . .
"Conpiracy", Oma? Well, if there is such a word, it certainly applies to your activities, doesn't it? (It's a typo in her latest post as "Snoopy". Five bucks says that "Handmaiden" will now show up and browbeat me about typos. Put it up. Anyone? I know. Sucker bet.)
Among the many things that I have learned about the lady since I became involved in this, one of the most interesting is her utter and complete humorlessness. It's actually a clue to the fact that all of her "characters" (except poor Mrs. Biernat) are in fact creations by the same mind, that is if you want to dignify whatever Oma has directing her life with that word. Not one of her characters has anything remotely resembling wit. "Mike" is ponderous, "Snoopy" is vulgar but "Handmaiden" is just plain silly. "She" gave a learned disquisition to Justin when the guy ranked out Oma for using a devil smiley face at the end of a truly insane "Snoopy" post, after Justin called her on using AIDS to make herself look like a victim. You know, kind of the way she does with rape. And miscarriages. And supposed spousal abuse. And supposed parental abuse. And of course the fact that Bob Atchison and his LIFE PARTNER Rob Moshein are the meanest people in the universe, making Oma Hamou's life living hell by . . . well, whatever she thinks they are doing. Oma responded with a disquisition about satanic smiley faces. I had already received a Wikipedia lesson on what cats look like when they are terrified.
I am not making that up.
And Mrs. Biernat? Listen, if you don't want your name out there on the internet in this connection because you think it will queer your pitch as you try to sell the business, could you take a small suggestion? Even though you have no respect for me and think I am Bob Atchison? Stop inserting yourself into this. I have no axe to grind with you, lady. I think you're kind of a dolt to toe the Hamou party line, but what the hell? It's not my business. On the other hand, it's a little self-serving to take after poor Blake when you yourself have posted threats against Moshein's physical health and are blundering around threatening lawsuits against people for behaviors your yourself have exhibited. Just remember that while you compile your record of the insults that have been thrown at you by Moshein and Blake, you've tossed a few their way as well. Why not support your friend Oma by giving her money (she always seems to need money) or a place to live (ditto), or by setting a fine example of breeding (perhaps her most desperate need)?
Rebecca
Hmmm, Rebecca,
You sent me "snoopy"'s incoherent blather about putting those specific statements "back into the timeline" (Oma got that from the first attorney in the lawsuit she lost, the only one who actually was paid before she, as she admits, ran out of money and stiffed the other ones for $20,000).
I still don't see any difference.
For years now, there are some one dozen recorded separate instances I have gotten off the many websites where she, er they, posted. ALL of them assert in most specific terms that "lawsuits are being filed any day now" "The hammer is coming down in two days", "This is going to court and to trial, make no mistake; all the Court Transcripts are now complete... Expect something to be filed within 10 days, as the legal team has to finish fine tooth combing the remaining pages of transcripts first. But it is going to happen, and then the world will see who is telling the truth" "Law Enforcement assures Oma they are taking this seriously and will file criminal charges any day now..." "Law Enforcement is investigating, this is serious this time..." blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
Well, years now and still nothing has happened.
THAT is the historical timeline. NOTHING happened
despite the promises, threats, assertions, dares, rants, and foul language.
NOTHING EVER HAPPENS.
Seriously, after four years of threats that never materialize, promises that never seem to follow through, and still NOthING HAPPENS, doesn't Team Hamou see how genuinely MORONIC they look, IN THE TIMELINE?
Blathering douchebag....
I suppose since she is representing herself these past few days as she gums up filings and such, Oma kind of functions as a lawyer. I thought this was interesting; a Judge Land slapped one of the "birther" nuts who keeps filing frivolous lawsuits against Obama with a $20,000 judgement. I've highlighted relevant parts.
"When a lawyer files complaints and motions without a reasonable basis for believing that they are supported by existing law or a modification or extension of existing law, that lawyer abuses her privilege to practice law. When a lawyer uses the courts as a platform for a political agenda disconnected from any legitimate legal cause of action, that lawyer abuses her privilege to practice law. When a lawyer personally attacks opposing parties and disrespects the integrity of the judiciary, that lawyer abuses her privilege to practice law. When a lawyer recklessly accuses a judge of violating the Judicial Code of Conduct with no supporting evidence beyond her dissatisfaction with the judge's rulings, that lawyer abuses her privilege to practice law. When a lawyer abuses her privilege to practice law, that lawyer ceases to advance her cause or the ends of justice."
I'd be a little more respectful of Judge Triana, Oma.
Why thank you for your words of advice, Rebecca. I still think it would be MUCH more fun to unmask you all and let the chips fall where they may.
Oh, Rebecca, dear. I think you must have misunderstood Mrs. Russophile/Biernat. When Ms. Hamou/McConnell/Murphy opened her austinwineguy blog to attack Mr. Moshein's business and Mrs. Russophile/Biernat joined in and then came onto this blog to ridicule how incompetent Mr. Moshein was as a wine expert and how his customers deride him, I'm sure she did so with only the intention of helping.
I am tempted to note that the irony of her coming onto this blog to attack Mr. Moshein's conduct of his business, no matter how kindly intended, and then complaining that the conduct of her own affairs has been sullied in return would not escape the notice of most people. However, I will resist the temptation, as so very much escapes Mrs. Russophile/Biernat's notice.
I really do not think it is her fault, Rebecca, dear. Clear heads and the devil's drink are often strangers.
Just a thought, Mrs. Biernat.
Oh you lovlies are SUCH fun! Fiction couldn't be stranger!
I'm not sure you qualify as a judge of fiction, Mrs. Biernat. You seem to believe Oma Hamou is presenting a documentary. But carry on, it apparently makes you happy, and the world needs more happiness.
You know, I had actually forgotten that Mrs. Biernat had attempted to hurt Moshein's business. I need to develop Oma Hamou's photographic (if selective) memory for every single thing that has happened during the past nine years that this stupid thing has proceeded. At any rate, you are perfectly correct, Penelope. Carry on, Mrs. B. And if I may cue the ominous music, remember . . . someone is recording everything you do . . .dun-dun-dunnnnnnnnnnnnn.
Doesn't it though? Now put that happy face back on and SING! You've been awfully crotchety lately Rebecca! *Russo shakes a finger at her* And Miss P! I do so appreciate your concern. Alas! Mr. Moshein and I shall never see eye to eye.
I'm short.
(Or, vertically challenged to those who are on the Al Gore politically correct band wagon.)
No, I haven't hurt Mr. Moshein's business, and you MUST be referring to ME who has all the copies save of Mr. Moshein saying I haven't hurt a thing. Of course he deleted that off his website, but I have the copies in case a judge needs it.
Perish the thought, Mrs. Biernat! Crotchety? Moi? I mean, I have been a little depressed since those men inspired by your and Oma's internet murdered my dog and beat me up, but I'm a tough girl, and I can fight back! Gee whilikers, I'm smiling to beat the band!
Gosh, Mrs. Biernat, I'm not sure you actually get to make the call as to whether you hurt Moshein's business. And surely intent counts for something in this world!
Oh that's right, Forbisher. The Pseudo dog. My condolences.
I didn't make the call, Rebecca, Mr. Moshein did. His words. I saved them. Thank you Mr. Moshein! *Russo waves*
That's "Frobisher", Mrs. Biernat. Pay attention. I do. My goodness, I can tell you when Oma claimed to have had a baby in Russia, then claimed it had been a miscarriage, then claimed that she hadn't said it, then claimed . . . .well, you get the idea. Oh, wait. You don't.
Well, so far, dear. But i's a delicate economy, and there's still plenty of time for you to cause some damage. Don't give up hope. And who knows? Perhaps someone who thinks you are funny will buy your business! You should thank Mr. Moshein for providing a forum where you can demonstrate your wit!
Well that's why I have YOU Rebecca, to keep it all straight for me.
And by the way, any time you want to demonstrate that wit, we're all ready for a sample.
YOU LIKE ME!! YOU REALLY LIKE ME!!
*She takes a Sally Field bow*
I'm happy to do it, Mrs. Biernat!
See? And you thought we were sparring partners. I'd rather think of us as BFF.
I feel sorry for you, which isn't exactly the same thing, but it will do.
That's sooo sweet Rebecca! Can I come visit you now that we're bff's? I haven't been to New York in a loooong time.
Did you ever see Sybil? A terrific Sally Field movie, and one with many important lessons. You know what would be a giggle? The next time you are talking to "Handmaiden", stop and say, "Sybil, is that you?" And see who answers!
Sure, dear, come on. I'll meet you under the clock at Grand Central. Tell you what? Why not pick up Oma and Handmaiden along the way, because they're two people and all. Lunch is on me.
Oh, and be sure to bring the husband. And "Handmaiden" can bring Stella. And Oma can bring a cat. If any survive.
Don't feel sorry for me, Rebecca!
The truth is, I've never left you!
See? We can get along. What an example for Oma and Rob!
No, I never saw Sybil. I think I'll have to Netflix that.
Don't cry for me, Michelle Biernat!
Oh my God, we're sisters under the skin, Evita!
Oh that would be GRAND! I have to check my schedule, though, you know there are things to do, we have vacation in November but next year I'm starting to book. . . .
Oh that would be GRAND! I have to check my schedule, though, you know there are things to do, we have vacation in November but next year I'm starting to book. . . .
You know, I figured that you hadn't seen Sybil, Michelle. You don't mind if I call you Michelle? I adore the tu relationship. But you should Netflix it, you really should. It could change your life. Although it probably won't.
Kinda like brother from another mother but girl-like, yeah, yeah, that's it. . .
Oh Honey, I've had ENOUGH of this CHANGE. Don't make me go there, uh-uh! No way!
Well, don't come through New York without looking me up, and if I am ever wherever you are in Oregon, I'll do the same.
Girlfriend, I know JUST WHAT YOU MEAN.
You know where I am. Mr. Moshein saw to that so c'mon down! Like Robby what's-hi-face in the Price is Right.
Of course, I went through my own "change" a few years ago. But mm-hmm. I hear you, sister-friend.
Oh, dear. I just never have a reason to go to Oregon. I have been to Boise, Idaho, though, is that close?
Well, I have to go run home and feed my dog, Michelle, but let's do this again really, really soon. Although I have to say, I sort of feel like Krystle to your Alexis, and that eventually we're both going to be rolling around the reflecting pool amongst the lily pads. But even that would be fun, because that's what you are, Michelle! Fun!!!
It's next to the state, dear, but alas! We ARE over looked. I remember watching The Joker's Wild and they gave this lady the clue that this state was between Washington and California. It's state nickname was The Beaver State and douglas fir was it's main export. Do you think she could get it at all? No siree!
*Russo shakes her head*
Can we dress up? Can we? can we? can we?? Oh I do so loved Alexis' shoulder pads. And the HATS! To DIE for!!
Toodles!
Great, speaking of blathering douchebags, we have that loathsome slime from the slums of Portland over here...
Reading this made me vomit in my mouth a little....ick
Moi? Perish the thought!
Brush your teeth and mouth and especially your tongue, Mr. Moshein, you'll feel loads better. Promise. Then have a nice cup of tea and one of Miss P's watercress sandwiches, they are easy on the tummy.
Oh, Oma.
Pay attention. Really, girlfriend, I can't stress that enough.
No one here believes that anyone on your forum is real except for my new BFF, Mrs. Biernat. Seriously, tomorrow we're going to give each other makeup tips, I can't wait.
But back to you.
"Handmaiden" is made up. "Snoopy" is, as they say in showbiz, a character based upon a real person. I know, because I know the real person. So do you, Oma, but you have turned the guy into a foul-mouthed harpy. Gee, I wonder why? "Handmaiden" is utterly humorless. Gee, I wonder why? "Mike Newson"? Please. Rob says the real guy bailed years ago because he was afraid that you would bung up the relationship with his wife. And so on and so forth. The fact is, dear Oma, you can't create characters that are smarter than you are, and in brief, girlfriend, that simply means that your "minions" are indeed nothing more than refractions of you. Which makes them both tedious and dumb.
Honey, do you not hear the sound of the universe laughing behind your back? because it is.
Rebecca
I love, love, love the image of you calling the Bordeaux Wince Council. And talking like a lady, no less. I hope you recorded it for proof.
And Rob, I think I can help my new BFF Michelle. Poor thing, she is obviously looking for some friends, and she already likes Penelope's recipes. You know about wine, and she likes to drink wine, although not that much, thank you very much. She's just a little confused about things like reality, but I'll just bet we can clear that right up. In fact, I know we can. So don't be nasty and swear, Rob. She gets enough of that from her friend Oma on the other forum.
Peace and light, Rob. Peace and light. I'm sure she'll apologize for threatening your life. I know she feels bad about what happened to me thanks to her posts. Well, hers and Oma's.
One more thing, Oma, dear. I was riffing because you posted about "conpiracy" (get it? Con + piracy?). It was a typo, but a little suggestive --- Penelope actually referred to it as a Freudian slip.
I know what conspiracy is, girlfriend, but I am not sure that you are engaged in one, because there is only you. Can one conspire with oneself? I don't think you can be conspiring with Mrs. Biernat --- sorry, Michelle --- because you clearly haven't clued her in on some things that a really good conspirator would want to know. But you have definitely conned people, and I suppose it is only a matter of time before you are attacking oil tankers off the coast of Somalia. It will be just another job skill to add to an already fascinating resume.
Rebecca,
For what its worth, Oma Hamou did call the PR firm doing the PR campaign for Bordeaux today. They called me this evening, right after she called them... They were, umm, how to say? Confused; and concerned for my safety...they thought I should be 'aware' of the call...they were not, umm, receptive, or interested.
Their exact words to me were that they were pleased and proud I was working with them, and worried I should be aware of the call.
Let's just say that "polite" and "civil" were not the words they used to describe the call, as related to me. I don't want those poor nice people to suffer the inevitable follow up phone calls from "team hamou", so I'll only email you guys the actual words they used to describe the call.
Now, the interesting thing is, IF Oma Hamou is "not" reading the blog, IF Oma Hamou doesn't "care" what I do, IF Oma Hamou doesn't want to "interfere" with my business, well then WHY THE HELL would she call them in the first place? What the hell would the point be?
To her credit, at least, she used her own name...
Dear Robbele,
But boychick, that makes no sense! Couldn't one of her friends have spared her the agony and made the call for her??? Poor woman, forced to expose herself in public while her friends tell us over and over how afraid she is! And any one of them could have made this call for her but instead she does it herself??? WHERE WAS EVERYBODY?? Oh, sure, you all shoot your mouths off about how much you want to help her, but when the chips are down, as Aunt Masada used to say!
Also, and I hate to be nosy, but what name did she use? Murphy? McConnell, Hamou, Ashkenazy, Jordan, Newson, Snoopy? And those poor people at the wine place? Prank calls from a Peanuts character?? Don't the French have enough on their plates with that Carla Bruni as First Lady?? As I told Bitsy, can you imagine Netanyahu's wife running around with her tuchis out in all those "art" photos? Just because she's been a model . . .
Wait a minute. Are you all thinking what I'm thinking???
I was told the woman on the phone said her name was "Oma Hamou". Which all goes back to my original point.
Wow. I can just imagine that call to the Wine Council.
Caller: Hello. I'm Oma Hamou and Rob Moshein's LIFE PARTNER sued me.
Wine Council: Really? What happened with the suit?
Caller: Well, I lost. But it was because he lied.
Wine Council: Really? Why didn't you tell the judge?
Caller: She didn't believe me.
Wine Council: I see. So why are you telling us all this?
Caller: Because Rob Moshein and his LIFE PARTNER keep harassing me for harassing them.
Wine Council: And how do they do that?
Caller: They put up websites that tell people all about my criminal history and all the outstanding civil judgments against me.
Wine Council: Oh.
Caller: But don't you see. None of it was my fault. They even got Mrs. Batchelor turned against me.
Wine Council: Who?
Caller: Mrs. Batchelor. This old biddy I wrote a check to on someone else's account. She got all scared and called the police.
Wine Council: And what did they do?
Caller: They came over and admired my beautiful condo and then arrested me for felony forgery. Can you believe it? But they got it all wrong. I was going to pay Mrs. Batchelor.
Wine Council: Well, why didn't you?
Caller: The prosecutor wanted to prosecute me instead. But he actually likes me because he lets me travel while I'm out on bail.
Wine Council: Oh, I see. And you are telling us all this because ....?
Caller: Well, I had this roommate who was a forger who got in touch with Moshein and told them what aliases I am now using and where I live. But she's back in jail now.
Wine Council: Oh, that's too bad.
Caller: Not really. She was a real bitch.
Wine Council: And, again ... why are you telling us all this?
Caller: I thought you should know what a crook and scumbag Rob Moshein is. Bye.
Click
Now Rebecca, if we are to be BFF's you need to get straight that I NEVER threatened Mr. Rob Moshein's life. I SUGGESTED that I or my son should come visit. We both like wine, my son's grandfather owns a vineyard. It would be fun! It's not MY fault Mr. Moshein quakes in his boots whenever I want to take a trip.
Now what were those makeup tips you were talking about??
Mr. Moshein, it's getting awfully crowded in here. Oughtn't you open up a brand new, fresh smelling clean blog? Hmmm?
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